The answer may be found in the question, in the identification of the "I." Who we think we are and who we really are affects how we consider life after death, and what we will thus "feel" there.
What masks do we wear? What roles do we play? What self do we think we are? It is probably not the true Self. Coming out goes deep within.
Apostasy (and apocalypse) are two words that could use some closer investigation in our spiritual journey.
I suggest that unique waves never return, but rather the ocean continues waving. The ocean is waving in you now.
It is something that is present in nearly every religion, and particularly in their mystical traditions. So what is it? What are we surrendering?
In many spiritual traditions there is a common practice of receiving a new name. What is this, and what does it have to do with mysticism?
We operate from two identities simultaneously during our life, but one of those identities is greater, and is the one that we should strive to know, and be One with.
I wonder if Silas/Silvanus could be Paul's nickname for his own alter ego, the "Saul" of his prior persecuting life, his shadow side, his human side, his "sinful" side, prior to perhaps taking a "new name" of Paul after his conversion experience.
The ritual practice of anointing makes the person that is anointed an "Anointed One," which is what the word Christ literally means, and by derivation is what being a Christian means. Cyril of Jerusalem in the fourth century noted of those who had been baptized and anointed, "You have been made Christs, by receiving the anti-type [symbol] of the Holy Spirit [the oil]" (Catecheses 21.1). Receiving the chrism they are ritualistically made Christs, being clothed in that Name and Identity, taking it upon themselves in actual fact as their own Eternal Identity, their True Name/Self.
Regarding the Mystery of the Gospel since the beginning.